So, you are going to have a baby? Maybe you have read all the baby books and you are ready to kick some parenting ass? Maybe you skimmed an article and you are just planning on winging it? Or maybe you have a whole litter of kids already, and you still have no clue what the hell you are doing? Not to worry, because I will let you in on one very important little secret. None of us do. None of us have any idea what we are doing at any given moment throughout this parenting mess, but that is what makes us a community. There is one unifying thread between all parents, and it is the fact that we are all just figuring it out as we go.
“The good news is that we are all in this together.”
The good news is that we are all in this together. We are a parenting community and there is so much power in that. There is power in having others in the same position to turn to for advice, send gross pictures of our child’s bowel movements to, or just to vent about the shitty day you had. If we let it, this parenting community can lift us all up, and get us through even the worst of days. Here at JaeWok, we want to bring that community to your fingertips. Every month we will be asking parents all over the country your most pressing parenting questions.
Today we are discussing that age old question; “What is the one thing you wish someone told you prior to having children?”. As a mom of a toddler, there are just about a million things I could tell you about parenting, but one thing? It is difficult to hone in on one theory to help us all be great parents, but that is probably because there isn’t one. I would say that my personal motto is to enjoy every season of parenting, even the awful ones, because they are all so temporary. The days are long and exhausting (just ask the bags under my eyes), but the years are short. Try your best to be present and enjoy every giggle, every snuggle, even every tantrum, because they won’t last forever. Now that I have you nice and depressed, let’s see what other parents had to say… (some of the names have been changed in the spirit of privacy).
Pat dad to a 8 month old:
“It’s Murphy’s Law to the extreme. Accept that literally everything that can go wrong will go wrong, and find humor in the resulting chaos”
Christine mother of two (4 years& 7 months):
“Motherhood is kind of a touchy subject so it’s hard for me to answer considering there are so many factors that make it difficult. One thing I can say is balancing out life was the hardest thing because you have to be a super mom first then a super wife when in reality thats just not possible. You make mistakes, learn from them. After all you’re coming blindly because you’ve never experienced this!”
Rita mother of two (30 & 35):
“You will never sleep soundly until they leave home. You will worry forever!”
Laura mother of a two year old:
“1. This one is pretty widely known but, it will explode your relationship with your partner (if you have one).
2. So much of parenting is re-parenting yourself because it brings up stuff from your own childhood/family. It’s very healing. It is a tumultuous and spiritual journey. I don’t think I could’ve truly grown up without becoming a parent, I was stuck with childhood baggage.
I didn’t find much about parenting too surprising, besides that it demands more compassion and healing”
Julia Mother of 4 (39, 30, 21, 16):
“The one thing I wish I knew before having my first child is the amount of responsibility a parent has in providing all the child’s basic needs, as well as their emotional needs. Basic needs meaning home, food, clothing, shoes, and healthcare.
Mark dad to a 6 year old:
“One thing I wish I knew before having my first child was thinking my child won’t remember everything, you never know.”
Claire mom to a 19 year old:
“I wish I graduated college so I could guarantee having money to save for her to go to her college now. It sucks because the list of schools we can afford are limited”
Chris dad to a 2 year old:
“Postpartum depression is real and will affect your partner is some way. Having to be a husband and a father at the same time was difficult. Separating those two things is not possible all the time”
Written by Kai Connolly
