The Eternal Lakers Royal Family: Welcome Home King James
There was no bigger story in basketball this summer than LeBron James leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers to join the Los Angeles Lakers in free agency. Personally, I sensed this was the move he was going to make mid-season last year for one reason, I believe Bron was tired of carrying a whole fucking franchise. Everything was always on his shoulders; the blame, the scrutiny, & the malice was always directed at him personally as a man. In his move to L.A. the pressure is still on him in, but a different way. This is the first time in his career that his brand as a player isn’t bigger than his franchise’s.
Growing up my father was the biggest Laker fan on the planet earth. He told me tales of Magic Johnson, James Worthy, Michael Cooper, and Kurt Rambus in the 80’s that made them sound like absolute super heroes. During my childhood I experienced the full immersion to the Lakers dynasty during the three peat (2000,2001,2002). To this day there are only two teams in history that could ever beat that 2001 team in a 7-game series (Warriors 2018 & Bulls 1996). My last great Lakers memory was Game 7 in the 2010 finals watching that team beat our absolute arch nemesis the Boston Celtics. Dad passed away the year before those finals and I felt like wherever he was in the universe he was smiling down.
On the contrary though, that may not be the case the last couple years. Me, my mom, and my older brother have a running joke that my dad has been spinning in his grave the last 7 years because of how big of an embarrassment this team has been since that moment. Bad drafts, bad deals, bad play, fuck we were the worst team in the NBA for a fair amount of time there.
I am not used to that as Laker fan. I’m used to Hollywood. I’m used to titles. I’m used to the playoffs. I’m used to Royalty.
Here is a list of the most unquestioned members of the Laker’s royal family. There will be some stats, lore, and more unquestioned Laker bias.
Chick Hearn
Chick is a legend. I always viewed him as a larger than life character, the only other announcer that I am in more awe of in all of sports is Vin Scully. I’ll save that one for another day. Chick is most well-known for his amazing catch phrases and animated announcing style. Legend has it he invented the words “slam dunk” and “alley-oop”. His voice was of pure velvet and storytelling is unrivaled in his craft. He announced 3,338 consecutive Laker games from 1965 to December 2001 missing for surgery. Chick passed away the following year, in his memory I will end this with his signature catch phrase during a Victory. Rest in Peace Chick.
“The game’s in the refrigerator, the door’s closed, the light’s out, the eggs are cooling, the butter is getting hard, and the MOTHER FUCKING JELLO IS JIGGLING!”
That last part I added for gusto.
Dr. Jerry Buss
Dr. Buss was the architect to what we now know to be the “ShowTime era”. During Dr. Buss’s ownership of the team he won ten championships. In my mind there is no bigger Laker than Dr. Buss. He had it all and notoriously shared it behind the scenes with organization members. There are legends of suitcases full of cash, parties, and women. Pure opulence, exactly like LA intended. Jerry passed away after battling cancer for a year in 2013. His death and absence of leadership is a big portion of what our recent troubles were attributed to. If anyone loved seeing the LeBron move it was Jerry.
Kobe Bryant
The Black Mamba himself. One of the most clutch 2 guards in the history of the game. His legend stretches as far as laying 81 on Jalen Rose in the Garden, winning the slam dunk contest as a rookie, or shooting two free throws on a torn Achilles. Kobe is most well-known for his absolute laser focus and Zen demeanor. He was an intense competitor. Leading the Lakers to 5 championships and his seat here at the royal family table is expected. During his reign he scored 33,643 and is currently #3 on the all-time point leaders. Though Kobe is loved by many but hated by most, he was the face of the franchise the moment he put on the jersey at 18 and when he retired at 38, putting up 60 points in the epic career finale.
Jerry West
JERRY’S IMAGE IS THE GOD DAMN NBA LOGO! My fondest memories of Jerry are actually not from his playing days. Yes, he is a finals MVP, champion, and All Star, but as an executive he has been part of 8 championships. 6 of them being with the Lakers. 2 time executive of the year. Known for being a wartime council draft time and a hawk during a trade Jerry earned the reputation for making some of the smartest and boldest roster moves. He is nothing short of a genius in the management chair. Seeing him working for the Warriors took 3 years off my life.
Earvin “Magic” Johnson
If the Lakers franchise morphed itself into a human form it would be Magic. He was my father’s favorite player and argued to the grave that he was the best player to ever do it. Magic became known for being one of the most naturally gifted players when it came to improvisation during fast break plays. “Showtime” Lakers in the 80’s changed the way the game was played a lot like the way the current Warrior’s team is changing it. Every hero needs a villain and Magic had the baddest villain ever in Larry Bird. He was the joker to his batman. The Celtics dominated the Lakers in the 60’s beating them 8 times in the finals between 1959-1985. Magic exercised those demons in 1985 and beat them again in 1987. Magic won 5 titles altogether in his time as a Laker. Seeing him involved with the team currently is a reason I believe LeBron chose L.A.
Shaquille O’Neal
Shaquille O’ Neal is the most dominant big man in the history of basketball. He would put your favorite big man in a neck brace and head gear. The speed, size, agility, skill, and basketball IQ has never been that collectively high in all categories for one player. He is Hercules. He is Superman. He is Zeus. Shaq is a mythological creature to me. He flew through the air, sent opponents shots into the stands, had the footwork of a ballerina. Yea the 4-time champ, 3-time NBA MVP is known for missing free throws, but whenever asked to address it he infamously answered “I made the ones we needed”. Shaq is literally and spiritually larger than life to me. He’s been in commercials, movies, and was absolutely everywhere when I was growing up. Possibly the most marketable athlete ever, Shaq turned his play and personality into a brand people still love it to this day.
Kareem Abdul Jabar
Kareem’s skill on the court was mystical in the way he was able to score unconventionally from many difficult positions. His size and special skill set made him one of, if not the most difficult offensive players to ever defend. Shaq is the only person who I think could give him a serious run for his money. Jabar is the all time scoring leader and the pinnacle of Lakers’ legend because his individual play put our team where it is now. To do him justice I going to just leave his career accolades below and let you judge for yourself.
ALL TIME POINT SCORER IN NBA HISTORY
- 6× NBA champion (1971, 1980, 1982, 1985, 1987–1988)
- 2× NBA Finals MVP (1971, 1985)
- 6× NBA Most Valuable Player (1971, 1972, 1974, 1976, 1977, 1980)
- 19× NBA All-Star (1970–1977, 1979–1989)
- 10× All-NBA First Team (1971–1974, 1976–1977, 1980–1981, 1984, 1986)
- 5× All-NBA Second Team (1970, 1978–1979, 1983, 1985)
- 5× NBA All-Defensive First Team (1974–1975, 1979–1981)
- 6× NBA All-Defensive Second Team (1970–1971, 1976–1978, 1984)
- NBA Rookie of the Year (1970)
- 2× NBA scoring champion (1971–1972)
- 4× NBA blocks leader (1975–1976, 1979–1980)
- NBA rebounding champion (1976)
Back to LeBron….
King James’ legacy in the basketball HOF has already been written and now it’s time for him to show that he can perform for one of the biggest franchises in sports, for the biggest media markets. He is obviously one of the best players of all time, but to be a Laker legend, you’ve got to bring one back to L.A.
Written by J-Walk & Illustrated by Michael Hebert
